Clinton and Obama--re-start your engines!

After a six week lull, the Democratic primaries are back on in full force! (I'm so excited!) Voters in Pennsylvania are heading to the polls today to cast a crucial vote in one of the most dramatic primaries to occur in modern U.S. history.

The last big state with 158 delegates at hand, today's primary could help decide who will be the Democratic nominee to run in November.

Actually, I can't say that with a straight face. A-HAHAHAHAHA! It is impossible!

Why am I laughing? Glad you asked. While today's primary will up the ante a bit and put Clinton and Obama in an even tighter race, the results from today or from the primaries taking place up until 3 June are not going to decide anything. With less than a 150 delegate difference between the two of them, it will continue to be impossible to say who has the greater chance of winning the nomination. Also, in case you were wondering, it will continue to be impossible to say if Clinton will drop out after the primary season is officially over. (It is also annoying to keep reading the same recycled message. Move on already!)

In case you haven't noticed, today's primary is also not a close one. Since February, we have all know that Clinton is going to win Pennsylvania. It's inevitable! While Obama has narrowed the gap on her once double-digit lead, we all know that Clinton is going to walk away from this with at least 60% of the vote stuffed in her back pocket. People who think this state is so contested and that today's events are going to be exciting are the ones who could benefit from the fact the WGA strike is over... (GO WATCH "CSI" AND GET OUT OF THE WAY!)

Actually, we can probably call who is going to win the remaining primaries. Here's my list:

Indiana = Clinton
North Carolina = Obama
West Virginia = Clinton
Kentucky = Clinton
Oregon = Obama
Puerto Rico = Clinton (NO THEY ARE NOT A STATE BUT THEY ARE A TERRITORY)
Montana = Obama
South Dakota = Obama

The rest of the primary season is going to be boring, pretty much. No more stories on "OH MY GOD, WHO WILL WIN [enter state name here]???" Instead, stories about the candidates increasing their attacks on each other; the divide among the Democrats; bullshit stories on the candidates; and ones on how McCain is gaining in the national polls will be the only ones we see over the next few months.

Out of all the election-related articles that will be published over the next few weeks, those are probably the most exciting ones we could read. I would LOVE it if the media started to attack Obama. It's about damn time, really. (Clinton could use the break) With his BFF, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, causing controversy and Obama making the biggest blunder of his campaign by announcing that working class voters are bitter and vote based on their beliefs on gun control and religion only; one would think he'd be under more scrutiny. Actually, he got off pretty easy. The media adore him (I don't know WHY but whatever) and trying to take the piss out of him, to journalists, is like kicking a puppy. They just can't do it! It's a shame because they could just wail on him if they wanted. I know there is more dirt to be dug up about him--and I can't wait. [enter evil laugh here]

I don't know if you have noticed, but over the past few days, articles about McCain gaining popularity (despite the fact half of the Republican party hates him) in the national polls have started to surface. With his party's nomination in the bag, McCain has had the chance to traipse around the world and the country, spreading his message of stupidity to unsuspecting people everywhere. The fact he is already out on the campaign trail is significantly hurting the chances of a Democrat winning in November.

In February, no one cared about McCain--they were all interested in the clash of Obama v. Clinton. People around the world scoffed at the thought that the Republicans had a chance at winning in November. It's April and now most of us doubters are beginning to choke on our scoff. This year was supposed to be an easy win for the Dems; now the party has spilt into two and people are starting to doubt the leadership abilities of the party. If we can't stop two candidates from staging the ultimate fight-to-the death cage match, then how will we be able to stop the problems facing the US and the world?

While this is a valid point and will make for excellent features, I just don't think we should worry about that. Am I mad the Democratic primary has been such an up-and-down roller coaster? Of course. Do I believe the party is splitting? Yes. Will I abandon the Democratic party if Obama is elected the candidate? Absolutely. But do I think the Dems are ill-equipped to be the power in the Oval Office and will lose to the Republicans in November? HECK NO.

The reason the Democratic primary has lasted so long is due to the two strong characters running for the candidacy. This isn't 2000 or 2004. The Democrats care who is going to be the candidate. We know the country has gone to hell in a hand basket and we want to make sure we pick the best candidate to get us out of those depths. You know, we should be giving Dems across the country a round of applause for putting up with such a dramatic and difficult primary.

Today Dems in Pennsylvania are putting up with this primary and going to vote. Dems of all social and educational classes are going to put their two-cents in today. And as they tick the little box next to a candidate's name, they are exercising the democratic rights that were granted to them long before they were born. Lets be glad the Democratic primary has gone on for so long; otherwise, these people wouldn't have a say in who is to become the Democratic nominee. That's the most newsworthy and exciting thing happening today, if you ask me.

Thank god for the US electoral system! Without our whacked-out, seemingly nonsensical form of government, I wouldn't be able to say this: Clinton, Obama--keep revving your engines because this race isn't over yet! (woo hoo!)



Want to educate yourself on today's happenings? Give these articles a read:
MSNBC.com: Pennsylvania primary day: Obama or Clinton
Yahoo! News: Obama, Clinton Hit News, Comedy, Wrestling Circuits
Yahoo! News: Barack Obama
Yahoo! News: Hillary Clinton